yes, im still alive after my last journal, which one would think i died.

alot has happened......a little too much..........i dont know if i can handle everything thats being thrown at me all at once, so lets start listing!

My English Final Project(And someone elses >.< you know who you are! ), Fininsh and PASS spanish(Final PROJECT), get a passing grade in my shop, Fix some problems at home(Someones mooching off of my mother and i want to get rid of the leech personally), Figure out a way to set up the house to rent rooms, NOT go to Summer School, figure out a way to get my best friend back down to this state(His moms car got hit by a drunk driver(She was not driving it thank god)) Keep in touch with my friends, Keep my dream girl from losing it(MUCH harder than it sounds) and figure out how not to totally break down and destroy my mortal being into ashes of nothing..........

it seems hopeless. WTH am i suppose to do. the next step is suiside but i cant do that, that wont get anything done. Its alot for a 15 almost 16 year old to handle. My birthday is comming up. i really dont want to tell my friends when it is. its more annoying if they knew. my birth should not be celebrated.

as i type this im trying not to get blood on my keyboard. well its really not my keyboard, its the schools labtop.

i just wish i had some help, ya know? i wish it didnt just fall on my shoulders. i keep seeing the love of my life cry and theres nothing i can do about it. when i do see her cry it completely destroys me, because i CANT do anything.....yet..........i dunno.... blarg............im not really regretful, i just am smashing my face off my keyboard.......(not really)